We’re living in an era where having “experiences” has become more important than owning material things. Making a destination “Instagramable” is practically the most important thing you can do in the tourism industry because everyone wants to share their “experiences” with the world as they’re happening!

I have the word “experiences” in quotes to be sarcastic because of the irony in what constitutes an experience today; it’s literally the opposite of the actual definition.

I put this analogy to a friend yesterday: imagine someone you know is traveling to Paris and he’s got a list of important sights he wants to see. He spends the entire trip rushing around to check off each box so that when he gets home he can tell all his friends that he’s experienced the great sights of Paris. Look at his Instagram account! Can’t you see he was there? The Eiffel Tower, the Mona Lisa, Versailles, etc. He’s got the receipts.

But to experience something extraordinary doesn’t mean standing in front of it for thirty seconds, or taking a picture with it in the background. For me, experiencing the majesty or the beauty of something truly inspirational means having communion. You have to connect with it, spend time with it, and try to understand what it means in the right context. It might even require some additional research on the side before you get there.

I brought up this analogy to my friend because, more and more, I see people treating wine and spirits in the same manner. Everyone is tasting as much as possible, checking off the boxes, and moving on to the next adventure—but without really having the experience they’re paying for. It makes me incredibly sad.

I watched a video this week with Edward Sahakian from the world famous Davidoff Cigar Shop in London. Someone asked him what his five favorite cigars of all time were. He responded by saying he couldn’t pick his five favorite cigars, but he could pick his five favorite cigar moments. I can’t tell you how happy I was to hear him say that.

It’s because Mr. Sahakian understands that the moment of communion defines the experience, not the cigar. You could have the best cigar in the world in your mouth, but if you’re not in the right frame of mind, at the right moment, it’s worthless.

Yet, it’s amazing how easy it is to lie to ourselves and make believe that we really had the experience we’re longing for when we clearly did not. We like to protect our egos and convince ourselves that we’re part of some special experience club, but it’s not always true.

I’ll give you an example.

For most of my adult life, my favorite rock band has been Pavement. Unfortunately for me, Pavement disbanded in 1999 and I didn’t really hit my Pavement stride until 2001. Fortunately for me, I was lucky enough to see Pavement in 1995 as part of a festival. So when people asked me if I ever got to see Pavement perform before they broke up, I said: “Yes, lucky me!”

But I don’t remember a goddamn thing from that 1995 performance. I wasn’t into it, I didn’t know any of the songs, and I had zero context.

So, yes, I got to “see Pavement live.” I checked that experience box. But in the back of my mind, I knew that I never really had the experience I was longing for.

Flash forward to 2010, and I’m sitting in the front row of the Bob Hope Theatre in Stockton (Pavement’s hometown) as part of the big reunion show, belting out every single lyric, completely in tune with every single song, and practically weeping.

THAT is a fucking experience. THAT was a moment.

If I had never had the chance to see Pavement with the right mindset, I would have been sad, but I probably would have consoled myself with the literal truth that I had actually seen them perform back in 1995. Yet, despite my desire to believe that should suffice, it’s not really the same, is it?

If you’ve tasted a 30 year Port Ellen single malt, that’s nice. Good for you. But it’s not the same as drinking a glass of 30 year Port Ellen after a meal and talking about it with friends. It’s not even close.

The point is: don’t short change an actual experience for the opportunity to check off a box. Proving that you did something isn’t the same as experiencing it.

To paraphrase Kevin Costner from Tin Cup: When a defining whiskey moment comes along, you define the moment or the moment defines you.

-David Driscoll