As an only child who still struggles with long-standing embarrassment caused by the emotional immaturity of my youth, I’m well aware of how a pathological need for attention and affirmation works. When you’re too caught up in your ego to recognize how your behavior effects others, it’s never a good thing.

The person at the party who has to be the center of attention? Been that guy.

The person who needs to hear he did a good job to know he did a good job? Been that guy.

The person who can’t be content with success unless he tells someone else about it? Been that guy, too.

That’s why when my friend Luis sent me this video yesterday about Bourbon hunters, I laughed out loud; especially when my other friend Brian said to me: “I’ve been all of those guys at some point.”

The thing about emotional maturity is that it requires you to recognize painful truths about yourself, and then ultimately laugh about them. If you can’t do that when confronted with an honest look in the mirror, then you probably have a difficult time making friends as an adult.

Which brings me to another type of Bourbon hunter: those who need attention and affirmation from those in the industry. For some reason, guys who are really into chasing down bottles of rare Bourbon like to send me photos of their hauls, or email me details about all the stores they went to while doing so. They’re looking for me to respond with: “Awesome!” “So Cool!” “Wow!”

But it’s ironic because I don’t think it’s cool at all. No retail buyer does.

Yes, retail buyers enjoy talking to people about whiskey. We like whiskey. We like drinking whiskey. But we don’t like customers who hoard whiskey because ultimately they take bottles away from other customers we’re also hoping to please.

Someone said to me this week: “Hey, I walked into the store yesterday and saw you had ___________ on the shelf, so I completely cleaned you out!”

I guess this person wanted me to be thankful? Well, I’m not.

When it comes to allocated bottles, consumers aren’t doing retailers any favors by spending additional dollars on super limited releases. Those bottles are what bring people into the store. Buying up a store’s allocation for yourself means you’re disappointing that retailer’s other customers, who will now go elsewhere for their fix.

Hence, by hoarding one store’s allocated supply, you’re actually killing their business, not helping it (especially when you turn right around and sell those bottles for your own profit). Spending $10K on Blanton’s and Weller without ever buying another bottle doesn’t make you a good customer; it makes you a parasite.

So when someone sends me a photo of their Bourbon haul, loaded with rare finds they managed to secure by pillaging some retailer’s shelves, I’m not impressed. I’m repulsed.

But the need for attention and affirmation often blinds those too caught up in their own emotional needs to think about the feelings of others. I’ve definitely been that guy, too.

-David Driscoll